A minor dissertation on Life

What I am studying at Oxford:

A Brief Outline:

A few words to define: Time, Read, Matter, I, Need, You, To, Read, So, It, Matters, Life

Question to answer: What does it mean? (And what does it mean to say "What does it mean?" Define "it.")

I. You laugh because you think I am joking- and I am.  

       a. Things that I want to say but don't        

       b.  Things that would say to myself but cannot to you

       c. I cannot bear to be this- openly vague, Vaguely open

II. I am supposed to make coherent statemets for each point

      a. Does this count for a coherent statement? (It is at least grammatically a sentance.)

      b. Someone once said that the answer to life was 42

      c. Why do we (we is less personal that I) never say what we mean? And what does "mean" mean?

III. Read this and tell me that I am sane

     a. You are lying

     b. I am crazy

     c. Catch-22, thank you Joseph Heller

     d. I have inside jokes with the characters within my head

IV. Read this and tell me I am crazy

     a. You are lying

     b. I am sane

     c. Because I know I am crazy

     d. How many people have said that before me, and does if matter?

     e. One more question for Joseph Heller- if man is Matter, does man matter?

V. Conclusion: The problem of life is that the solution is living.

And upon contemplation, that doesn't seem to be so much of a problem.

Another Dialogue (fictional, of course. Who really wants to hear about real life?)

Setting: Life, Planet Earth, Milky Way Galaxy

Characters: Girl, Boy, Different Girl

*All characters are completly real and all of the events in this really did happen... in someone's head.

Narrator: The story is simple really- nothing original, nothing extravagant. Simple. Girl is in like with boy and boy is in like different girl. Simple. 

Girl: (talking to Boy) I like you.

Boy: ( an incredulous look crosses his face as if he just heard the wierdest sentance of his life- something to the effect of "Purple hippopotomouses talk to me in my dreams.") You are not supposed to say that- that is not part of the script- did you not read the script? (His eyes flash accusingly. He does not appreciate this inconvenient improvisation.)

Girl: (placid stare on her face) I like you.

Boy: (Nearly growling) You are not supposed to say that! You are supposed to walk away quietly now, remember? I am not supposed to know! I can't know. I like Different Girl- I am not in like with you.

Girl: Which different girl do you like? You flirt with so many....

Boy: (completely giving up at any attempt to remain in character) Look here (Pointing desperatly to a line in a script which he hastily pulls from his back pocket). I say, "Thanks for studying with me." You say, "Hey, what are you doing tonight?" I get all dreamy and say "Oh, I am just going out with Different Girl." You then are supposed to get all quiet and dejected, which of course I don't notice, and then walk away. Then I go off with Different Girl. Remember now?

Different Girl: (Strutting on stage, conveniently in perfect timing, and flipping her perfectly styled hair as she bounces cheerfully) Hey there! (Linking arms flirtateously with Boy) Are you ready to go? I have been waiting.

Boy: (Turing to Different Girl) Look, we have to start the scene over- Girl messed up her lines again.

Different Girl: (Pouting and batting her mascara coated eyelashes) Ooooh, well that's inconvenient, isn't it? Come get me when you need me, honey! (She bounces off stage from where she came)

(With a sigh, Boy turns his attention back to Girl, who is still standing on stage, staring at the scene in front of her with an unreadable expression)

Boy: Ok now, you remember how it goes. You leave and then come back after Act Five.

Girl: But I like you now, not then.

Boy: (getting flustered once again) Would you stop being difficult?! I am in like with Different Girl!

Girl: Until Act Five. You conveniently forgot what happens in Act Five.

Boy: We are in Act Three now. It does not matter what happens in Act Five!

Girl: She leaves you for Different Boy in Act Five.

Boy: You are inconvenient, you know?

Girl: If I were convenient, I would be a different girl.

A Short Dialogue-

Elisabeth: Hey, I feel like a retarded hypocryte who, by the way, can't spell...

Innocent Bystander: Well, since I have to listen to your complaining, I might as well pretend like I care and ask why. Why?

Elisabeth: Because I have wasted so much time making fun of and attempting to rebel from our oh so loverly modern liberal democracy and the technology and materialism that it produces, but now I have become apart of a weblog thing. I have become weak and my anti-modern revolt has failed.

Innocent Bystander: Pretty much. You have one of two choices.

Elisabeth: Really? What might those be, oh wise one?

Innocent Bystander: Emmerse your self in the culture, Baby! You must watch at least 2 1/4 hours of reality TV shows a day, not including the 1 hour you should spend watching thrilling dramas like the OC. And don't forget to take weekly rapping lessons (Elisabeth interupts)

Elisabeth: Wrapping? Wrapping what?  Presents?

Innocent Bystander: Oh dear, this is more serious than I thought. Rapping, you know, like the music.

Elisabeth: Oh.... yeah.... I was just kidding.

Innocent Bystander: Perhaps you had better stick to the other option.

Elisabeth: What is that?

Innocent Bystander: Become a nun and join a convent. Spare the rest of the world of your crazy antics.

]Elisabeth: Now, that is not very nice. But, are there nice little convents up in the Mountians somewhere? Perhaps in the Alps. I like mountians...

Innocent Bystander: Yes, whatever you want.

Elisabeth: Are you sure that there aren't any other options?

Innocent Bystander: Yep.

Elisabeth: On second thought, I think I would get bored in the mountains, and I don't like goats very much. Do you think there is anyway I can become acclamated to the great entertainment cluttered culter of North America? There must be somehow I can learn to be apart of the 21st century... 

Innocent Bystander: Look at yourself! You are already sucked into the vortex! You are typing on a WEBLOG!   

(Huge bang is heard off in the distance, followed by the sound of eletrical wires shorting out. Screen goes blank, and the previous conversation is lost in cyberspace...thankfully.)

oooooh. This is kind of fun. I can pretend I am writing a letter to my sisters and just post it on this weblog thing, and therefore, I will save myself the hassle of actually having to send it. I figured it is about time that I fall into the modern vortex of technology, and, since I have failed at corrsespondence with the old fashion and electronic mail systems, I might as well experiment with this "weblog" thing.

Dear my darling sister Christina (or) Catherine (sorry to leave Gabrielle out, but if she has a sight on here, I am dropping out of school and moving to Nepal),

I have missed you so much. How is school going. I am good. Are you enjoying a) listening to music, b) working, c) hanging out at the mall like a 15 year old without a car, d) acting like a mature univeresity student by fingerpainting and drawing in coloring books, or e) all of the above? I am so glad to hear that! Well, I have to go and be cheeky to someone else. Take care!

Love,

Your overly considerate and personal sister,

Bea

Do words give way to time? If words are spoken but never heard, does it mean a thing? What does it show, endless words, pages and pages and pages of words but not a person on the world to read them. Is that what I want?

Time brings change, and change takes time. 

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones I used to know. Where the tree tops glisten and children listen to hear sleigh bells in the snow.

Roar loudly, think softly, die grammatically correct.

I feel extreamly odd writing to no one- for I can't be writing to myself as I usually do, for what I write to myself, no one else reads. So, I dedicate this to Sarah- one who lives to think, lives to love, lives to find beauty in life's quietest moments that are forgotton by most.

I'm dreaming of a White Christmas with every Christmas card I write. May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be white.